The next time your party is in a tavern or inn looking for adventure and you're drawing a blank, give your d30 a roll and see what you get. Hopefully it will serve as an adventure hook or at least a mild chuckle. (I've opted to provide names for people and places because that is the stuff I myself tend to need to make up on the fly. Adjust to taste.)
30 Things Overheard in a Tavern
- Roper? I don’t even know her!
- Black Raker’s Cove has been swallowing up sailors. Methinks something from the deep is hungry!
- As sure as I know anything, orcs are ticklish behind their ears.
- I'm telling ye, the cemetery walls are hollow! Back in the old days, they used to entomb criminals in there... alive.
- Last week, Jacob of Gutter Lane found some kind of idol or statue underneath that ol' willow tree outside town. I haven't seen him since.
- I'm telling you, Daisy McFran isn't dead! She ran off with that sorceress, Lilly of the Lake.
- Francis, listen; this is the truth. The city watch has been paying money to a band of goblins to keep 'em from attacking! The watch ran out of money and is now in debt to the thieves' guild!
- Hyperion Ale for everyone! Except you, Angus.
- At midnight, the beets in old Lady Bervert's garden get up and dance around!
- [first speaker] By St. Cuthbert, I heard all sorts of strange moaning coming from that old shack on Blackbird Lane. [second speaker] It's a brothel, you jackass.
- That moonshine Old Man Snakebite sells is so strong it drove that poison right out of my system.
- I've seen it with my own eyes! Last night, as I was stumbling home, I saw Brother Ardor let a strange lady with dark hair into the temple.
- [first speaker] This place serves the best apple pie. I wonder where they find green apples in these parts? [second speaker] Those aren't apples, those are goblin scrotums.
- Those weird markings around the town's well? I heard those were some kind of ward keeping something wicked locked at the bottom. You won't catch me drinking from that, by Cuthbert's Cudgel!
- Did you get the coffin I sent you?
- Something has moved into the abandoned mill down at Wide Rock Creek... and whatever it is is evil, I tell you, evil!
- Something covered Farmer Wakely's cows with slime. They seem to be all right, but damn if that wasn't odd. I think I'll be getting my milk elsewhere.
- [first speaker] You know what's odd? I haven't seen a stray dog in months.[second speaker] I haven't seen any dog in months.
- You know that tabby cat that hangs around this tavern? The other night, when I was coming back from the privy, I saw it change into something! It was a little imp or devil, or some accursed thing! I... I think it saw me....
- You're full of horse dung! Rose is a sweet girl. Why would she be eating a dead rat?
- Have you ever seen anyone go down to the cellar of this place? Me neither....
- You know, I've never noticed that doorway under the bridge near the south gate before. What's it for?
- [first speaker] My sister may be brazen, but she's no strumpet! [second speaker] That's not what I heard.
- For some reason, the only chickens Hans will eat are black roosters.
- [first speaker] Arthur Willings swears he heard screams coming from the temple cellar. [second speaker] Arthur Willings hasn't been sober in 10 years! I'm sure he hears all kinds of voices.
- [first speaker] I saw Bernhard Stonesmith bring flowers to a lady in the forest. [second speaker] Oh, was she a cutie? [first speaker] I think she was an ogre.
- [first speaker] I don't know what Arnulf feeds his hogs, but they're the biggest pigs in these parts.[second speaker] It must be the same things your wife eats, because she is huge!
- That merchant at the end of the bar has a mighty fat purse. Methinks it needs to be lightened.
- Who's that stranger in the corner?
- Just one more drink and then we'll go get that vampire!
(#15 was actually a line uttered by Dave's character in my RARE campaign. Sort of a long story....)